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Archive for March, 2009

Warning: Long ranty post ahead. You have been warned.

 

Its 6.31pm as I write this. I am seated on the bed, and outside, the sky is a gloomy grey. It rained cats and dogs a few hours ago. I actually like days like these. The cool air is such a joy, and the rain always seems to make the trees and grass greener.

 

Papa is outside having nasi beryani for dinner. Funny story actually, mum called from the office to ask what we’d like to eat, and papa said he wanted a sandwich, and as for me, anything would suffice. So mum bought a turkey ham sandwich from Subway for papa and nasi beryani for me and Serena. I knew that papa wouldnt enjoy his sandwich. His idea of a sandwich would be the old school roti keping and prolly egg or tuna as filling. But of course, its Subway. So it was Italian bread with turkey ham inside. Papa had a hard time eating it, the filling kept dropping out and he put it down in true papa style and said “I hate this” >___< And he looked at my nasi beryani and said, “I should have opted for a nasi beryani instead of this”. So of course, I immediately offered him my plate of lamb beryani. And he finished it all 😛 Mum and I are quite happy coz its REALLY hard to get him to eat these days.

 

I made him a breakfast of pan fried German bratwurst (got it at Tesco, molto car0), sauteed chopped onions with shiitake mushroom and tomato. He ate 2/3 of the meal, and Boo ate the rest of the sausage >___< He refused to have rice or porridge for lunch, and so I made him a mug of Enercal with oats. He drank the milk, but the oats remained at the bottom of the mug. I had to spoon feed him the oats coz he just didnt want to have any of it.

 

People ask me all the time, how is papa faring. Usually I say, “the same” or “so-so” or on better days “much better”. But now, truth be told, I’d tell you that he is waning. The pain that he is now enduring is of the lower back. The Hospice nurse who came by two days ago told me that the cancer may have spread to the spinal cord, and that there is a risk of paralysis 😦  If some months back, we were quite careful with papa’s medication, we now are more liberal when it comes to the painkillers. I give him liquid morphine when he starts complaining of pain. And mama too isn’t all anal about him getting “addicted” to the morphine. Personally, I feel that I would like dad to feel as little pain as possible, even if it means him being groggy all the time. He has difficulty walking and standing, and each time he goes to the bathroom, I have to stand behind him, alert, coz he has the tendency to fall backwards, and sometimes, his knees just buckle.

 

These days, whenever I eat, I always feel a pang of guilt or paranoia creeping up inside. What if it’s carcinogenic? Sugar feeds cancer cells. Vegetables and fruit have pesticide on them. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer.

 

Talcum powder causes cancer? Plastic bottles are carcinogenic? What chemicals are in my shampoo? Is my facial wash really safe?

 

Can you blame me for being paranoid?

 

I daresay I’m more health conscious these days. I try to cut down on the sweet stuff, and I make it a point to exercise. Then I think of my uncle. My mum’s brother who passed away in an accident in Singapore. He was the healthiest person I have ever known. He bought my mum health food like wheatgerm (I was young back then, and seriously thought he was trying to poison my mum with Germs) and oats and the like. He would exercise (jog on the spot) ALL.THE.TIME. While watching TV, while out in the garden, and even in the bathroom! Yea ok I’ll tell you how I know. That’s coz sis and I used to wonder what on EARTH took him such a long time in the bathroom, and we peeked under the door once ( can only see the feet la ) and saw him jog on the spot in the bathroom! He was a health freak. And the way he died, it was so so tragic. Makes you wonder. Eat to live? Or live to eat? Enjoy your life to the fullest and eat anything you want OR not?

 

I feel tremendously guilty for feeling the way I do. I love my dad, and I have no problems caring for him. The thing is, for how long do I put my life on hold? I have been here for 2 months now. Soon, I will have to pay EUR100 to change my flight departure date. Its supposed to be 29th April. But till when? Who will care for dad if I leave? Its mighty expensive to hire a caretaker or nurse, that’s for sure. If I go home soon, and the worst happens, it will be too expensive for me to fly back home again 😦 Contrary to popular belief, the hubs and I aren’t rich. So we earn in Euro, but H E L L O !!! We also SPEND in Euro! And on a one income household (I don’t consider my meager wage as an “income”), we aren’t exactly rolling in moolah. And when it comes to flight tickets, they’re EXPENSIVE for one person. Times two? You do the math.

 

Sigh. I daresay this is the biggest dilemma I have ever faced. Does it make me selfish if I say I miss my home in Italy, and that I miss the hubs, and that I miss my job? Right now, I just don’t want to think too much. But sometimes, the afternoon lull makes me think and think and think. And I HATE how I feel afterward. Which is precisely how I am feeling now, hence this long ranty post.

 

Maybe I just need to get out of the house for a bit. Being cooped up in the house 24/7 can NOT be good for me.

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People who don’t have pets do not quite understand how attached a pet owner can get to his or her pet. I am one of those dog lovers people would love to hate. I dream of my dog when I am away from him, I talk to my dog, I play hide and seek with him, and I even have him sleep on my bed sometimes.

 

When I first saw the book Marley and Me, I was intrigued. I knew I would most likely identify with the writer as to his sentiments about his dog. But I also knew that in most pet/dog stories, the dog would inevitably die in the end. For this reason and this reason only, I never did buy or read the book.

 

What got me to watch the movie Marley and Me was the trailer. When they referred to the dog Marley as the world’s worst dog because of his mischief, I immediately thought of Boo. Heh. Boo isn’t all that naughty per se, but many of those things that Marley did, Boo would too!

 

 

I am surprised I enjoyed the movie as much as I did. I dont really like Owen Wilson movies, and Jennifer Aniston is just ok I think. But somehow in this movie, they seemed to bring their characters to life. But of course, the star of the show would be Marley.

 

Gosh, did I laugh my head off or what. The one thing that Boo and Marley loved that made me ROFLMAO is… mangoes. Yepp. The fruit. And it was hilarious when Jen told the dogsitter not to be alarmed by the colour of Marley’s poop coz he loves mangoes. Just.Like.Boo!

 

And I only realized at the end of the movie that some scenes were censored. So Marley liked to hump poodles and umm the couch and other random things. I didnt realize that till the scene where Jen said that theres only one way to solve the problem, and somewhere along the lines, Owen says “aww cmon, give the dog a break, he’s gonna get his balls cut off today”. I put two and two together and somehow, it began to make sense. Heh. My dog doesn’t hump other poodles or random things. He just happens to prefer pillows >_____<

 

The part where Marley managed to half-jump his way out of the car and walked with two legs, omg, I was totallllllly laughing my head off, and so was the entire hall.

 

I also liked how the element of family was weaved into the story. How Grogan (Owen) had fear of more responsibility; babies. And how they had a baby, and then some!

 

Kinda made me feel a little worried about the whole family, kids thing 😀 Heh

 

The part where Marley got old and had difficulty walking, gosh, I could feel my heart breaking. So sad. It was also heart warming how Marley would wait for the kids to come home from school.

 

When Marley got sick, and it was time for him to go, sigh, needless to say, I just bawled my eyes out. I wasn’t the only one. The person on my left, right, front and back were all crying. It was really sad. Of course, being a dog owner and lover like myself, one can’t help but to think of one’s own dog in that sad state.

 

All in all, it was a lovely movie. It’s one of those movies that would stay in my heart for a long, long time.

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My first meme

Heh. Here’s something random I tried online. What does yours say about you? 😛

 

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

 

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It’s time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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Dad has been asking for strange things recently. Among them; binoculars, a steamboat pot, CDs by Engelbert Humperdinck (sp?), Tom Jones, Freddie Fender (?), Cliff Richard. We try and appease him by getting him whatever he wants. That’s what the doctor ordered anyway, that we respect all his wishes.

 

As of now, we’ve gotten him the binoculars, the steamboat pot (!!!), but not the CDs. Cant seem to find them amidst the plethora of techno and house CDs of today. Ick.

 

So of course, with the steambot pot, we made steamboat! Here are some pics. While I initially grumbled at the seemingly outrageous idea of buying a steamboat pot, I did kinda enjoy it in the end 😉 So did everyone else in the family. Here are some pictures.

 

Steamboat!

Steamboat!

 

The fun part!

The fun part!

 

We were all perspiring from the heat, and Boo was sniffing around curiously. But really, it was good fun.

 

And today, I made banana cake again. Seriously, different ovens yield different results. The Smeg oven we have in Italy needs exactly one hour at 130 degrees to yield a perfect banana cake, but the microwave convection oven I have here in Malaysia needs about two hours at 150 degrees! Also, I find our Malaysian bananas a lot sweeter and better for banana cake. Don’t mean to blow my own trumpet, but it was a hit 😛 with the family and relatives who came from Johor. I kept half to give my in-laws when I visit them tomorrow. Didn’t take any pictures though.

 

Seeing my ahem…success…in the kitchen, my sis was inspired to bake something of her own too. She decided on cupcakes. The end results were quite nice. Though I wouldn’t say the same about the entire PROCESS. Let’s just say there was lots of flour flying around and the kitchen looked like a war zone 😛  Here are some pictures:

 

Cupcakes

Cupcakes

 

Dainty cupcakes

Dainty cupcakes

 

On a related note, it’s unbelievable how expensive things are these days. I bought a block of 250g butter (SCS brand) for about RM7.40 at Tesco. Seven ringgit for butter! Having said that, I could’ve skimped and used cheaper alternatives like Buttercup Spread, but the results wouldn’t be quite the same I reckon.

 

I rediscovered my quiche dish hiding in the corner of the kitchen cabinet, am itching to make Quiche Lorraine. But then again, my family seems to take better to sweet stuff as opposed to savoury, non Asian dishes like quiche. We’ll see 😉

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